There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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