idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Your dad touched me again.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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