i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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