I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
