no, he came in my armpit
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
