I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize