i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
