Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
