I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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