I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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