if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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