I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Oh god it's open bar.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
