Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize