no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
