I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
