We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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