why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
