I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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