i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
