My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize