Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
