I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
