Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this beer tastes like vomit already
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
