Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize