1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
