you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
