I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
