Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
