Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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