I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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