what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
