I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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