no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
