Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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