i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
