i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
