Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
