I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
