OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
