You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
