You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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