just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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