im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
