yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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