My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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