I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
