Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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