He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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