i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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