I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
