Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
