we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
