I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
