I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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