Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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