My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
