Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
