I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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