i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
