I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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