He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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