Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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