i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
