I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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