On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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