im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
