You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Two words: nipple clamps
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