You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
