One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
