there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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