Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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