Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize