problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
