So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
