Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
